Thursday, July 01, 2010
hmm. If only you were wide awake more often. I'll admit I'm pretty defenceless against Mr Hyde and that's why its Dr Jekyll I prefer to talk to because at the end of the day, its Dr Jekyll who is the final decision maker. As rational as I like to think I am, I can't help but feel I'm now following my heart rather than my brain. While we'd all still love to do that somehow as we age we can't help but feel the importance of listening to the brain a little. Dr Jekyll is your brain and he has something to say whereas Mr Hyde just wings it. I don't have such a clear distinction between the 2 or rather the brain has no input now. But somehow its always been that way. I've never always been the best at expressing myself precisely because my brain has minimal input. That to put what I feel or think into words is a tough job for me. Maybe even if over time my brain gets a better understanding of what's going on, it wouldn't matter as much. Maybe I do things I feel are right rather than think are right more than I'd like to admit. Or rather, My brain starts rationalizing after the deed is done and thus far when the 2 have not agreed it becomes filed under "mistake". And I guess that's why I don't have regrets, because I dont think it was right to do but I felt it was.
I don't know whats to do. When our preferences of methods differ it becomes a little more complicated. I want you to do what you think is right not what you feel is right. As much as I'd like to do the same, I'm not really wired that way. Besides, as far as I'm concerned, what is on the table right now does not need a rational behind it, that somethings happen because they do, that giving it a rational would be more of convenience to make ourselves feel a little better. In more specific terms, to feel differently about something without understanding the reason behind is reason enough for me, that while I may not understand it now, one day I might, and the might is all I need. But then again perhaps I'll need to rethink that.
Naturally neither of us are at the stage where if we end up with someone else we'd be lost. I won't say we'd be upset but we'd be affected and that makes all the difference in the world to me. We all have different benchmarks on what's required for us to make the leap of faith. I think you know yours, now let me think about mine.
A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me, yeah
The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go, oh yeah yeah
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me
Everything I know and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done
It gets hard but it won't take away my love, whoa
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me, yeah oh yeah oh
