Sunday, October 04, 2009
If it means i get to skip ns i don't mind spending another 2 years studying for my a levels. Started tutoring my brother recently and it just made me realise how rusty i am. My brain needs some serious derusting and servicing. My body is back to pre bmt fitness levels after several months of lack of physical activity which is bad and my brain is turning to mush to pre o level standards and that's worse. Being school meant being surrounded by people who cared people whom i cared about about people i call friends. And while theres still the occasional meet ups its just not the same as spending each and every day of your life being around these people. People say that ns buddies are your best friends in life. Maybe true for past generations but hardly true for mine not for me at least. True you also spend each and everyday of your life undergoing turmoil but while i dislike studying i hate ns. At least studying served a purpose, there existed a holy grail that led to something more, more than just the plain opportunity of shouting 3 lettered abbreviations to those who have yet to achieve it.
Perhaps it's because i've been spending so much time at home or perhaps its because the shackles which bind me and keep me from my freedom are only unlocked 3 months later than those about to be released or perhaps its a combination of both but it definitely isn't some sudden epiphany inspired by some random event.
Home is where the heart lies. While studying my heart followed me around for i but just travelled from one home to another from family to friends or vice versa. Now every sunday is a dread for i leave home and am deported away to ulu pandan camp. Funny thing is now i go out so often even staying home seems like a bore to me. I so wanna be back in school..
;cause I missed you again at 5:34 pm
