Sunday, July 30, 2006
okae i haven been online for lyk soso long. since tuesday..thats long to me..i mean i used to go online everyday..and now. it just feels so weird..when im not online i just feel...lonely?? i dunno. but it aint that lonely since wednesday and thursday i toked to kakak(for about 10 minutes on wednesday haha and not very much longer on thursday) friday..dun rmb doing anything and yesterday i was smsing josh. last 2 days have been feeling lyk crap. Any councillor can tell u that seeing the amount of tissue i used yesterday.
Just finished scheming through my email. Rather easy since its purely junk and u just have to select all and delete. Timo's dad doesnt understand what's retail therapy. My mum doesnt understand the meaning of web therapy. Use the com for the 1st time in 5 days and barely used it for 10 minutes and n she cant get off my back. Oh did i mention how saying that is considered rude. sometimes i really can't be bothered. Life is cruel. deal with it. U know something if i had a gun in my hand i'd really wonder who i'd kill. them...or myself. No im not on the verge of suicide. Im not stupid to that extent.
haiz...i dunno if i go to school to run away from home or to go home to runaway from school. Don't you ever get that feeling sometimes where the last thing u wanna do when ur out is to go home. Then again is its that the case can it be considered a home. Thats right it Can't . Its a just a house we go back to satisfy our physical needs. Pscyhcological needs on the other hand aren't. Yet having said all that i know its different going back to this house than any other house. Yes that means im not about to runaway from home im not stupid to that extent either.
Going online is perhaps lyk the only way of being in the house physically but not spiritually. I go "home" only to avoid it. But of cos for the greater good or rather supposedly for greater results i have to stop avoiding it. hence i shall start ignoring it. Ignoring that hole in me..if its even there. I dun even know whether it really exists or just something i made up so i can will my time away. This brings me back to the point of how sometimes i think too much. But then this time i don't think im thinking too much. Just more than i usually do.
Screw life....
;cause I missed you again at 2:56 pm
