Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Haha i realise what a petty ass i can be...but then circumstances are such that i react in such a way then so be it. circumstances are such that tml must go school for council stuff when i can go out with people i haven done so for awhile a proper outing that is but then duty calls and did i mention that even if no council stuff i have barely enough cash to last me a day...and the week hasn't even started...
Haiz..i just wish i would like find $50 lying on the floor somewhere tml..that'll make my day so much brighter...haha i could be much poorer if i didn't get blangahed for the beer 2 days back(thanks kakak). i always overspend..don't know my limitation perhaps? is i spend too much or have too little to spend...i mean 1 outing can cost u like $20...thats 2/3 of my allowance..3 words lah..what the fuck...man and i hate asking my parents for money..especially this week. supposedly only 3 school days..but i spend less in school than if i go out..haiz...can just imagine the look on my dad's face when i tell him im broke...and my mum's nagging.
how i wish i had 2 bdays a year..better yet..if chinese new year happened twice...thats it next year im keeping all my ang bao money..i assure u it won't last me either way. haiz.....miracle how some people survive when they get way loads less than me....and like if its that way...then it just means i spend too much no?? haiz my allowance cannot keep up with my social life...so perhaps i should start being a freaking loner that doesnt go out or something....like whats the diff...i can overspend my allowance jsut by eating at school much less with going out. so yah i realise more often than not i skip quite abit of meals..no surprise how i lost my weight..being underfed makes u more susceptible to psychological breakdowns so don't try..or so i think..i dunno...haha this is one of the moments where everything in the world seems like a screw up...i seriously totally feel like crying lah..only not doing so cos my mum's around...cry myself to sleep? haha sounds loserish..my ego's in my way..
arh i just want to rant and rant and rant...even though i know some people will make the effort to read the post...and i sound like a totally psychological wreck...and yet at this kind of moments some people just never fail to bring a smile to ur face and make u feel that all u've been thinking about was making a big fuss out of nothing. and that i probably should stop thinking about all this nonsense cos its not going to make $$ appear in my wallet....nevertheless i shall persevere..i've got like $10 in my wallet now..and 4 more days to go...which means mak wil probably not get his monet this week..haah someone owes me $10 but i won't see that for a long time to come..worse come to worse i'll just ask my parents and endure their nagging...
oh have i ever mentioned how much i love my kakak?? shes the sweetest ever.=D
back to square 1
;cause I missed you again at 12:39 am
